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Every mom (and dad) wants to do their best of keeping their baby safe and healthy. But we can’t just keep our children hidden away in our home all the time to protect them from germs, viruses, and anything else that could harm them. We can, however, inform people that are around our children of baby etiquette and the best practices when being around babies.
Recently, my family has had a lot of gatherings for birthdays, weddings and just get-togethers to spend time with each other. While at these gatherings, I have realized that some people just don’t know how to act around babies.
They don’t realize that things they do can be very harmful to a baby. Such as kissing them, touching them on the face or hands, leaning in very close to their face to talk to them, passing them around to everyone in the room, and so on. These are all huge pet peeves of mine because I know that it could be potentially harmful to my child.
The thing is, a lot of people don’t realize that doing these things can be harmful in any way to a baby. I feel the need to inform others on how to keep children safe and healthy during cold and flu season and to teach people that parents don’t want you touching their baby just because you think they’re cute! In this blog post, I will highlight a few simple dos and don’ts of being around someone else’s baby. These are basic baby etiquette tips everyone should know when interacting with a baby.
Please Do:
Ask first
Before touching or attempting to pick up someone’s child, even if you are a close family member, ask first to see if it is okay with the parent that you handle their child at that moment.
To me, as a first time mom, I don’t want just anyone putting their hands on my baby. And even if it is someone like the baby’s grandparents, I still will remind them to please wash their hands before touching and no kissing the baby.
To all the touchy-feely strangers of the world: If you do not know the parents or the baby, keep your hands to yourself. Some individuals love to touch other people’s babies and that is not okay! So many moms talk about how they just want to do a little shopping in peace with their baby in their car seat/stroller and all of a sudden, a complete stranger comes up trying to touch their baby and talk to them. Talking is perfectly fine, but please keep your distance. Mothers are very protective of their babies, and you have no right to touch them!
Kissing a baby could transfer bacteria or viruses faster, such as RSV, a virus that is harmful to a baby’s respiratory system. Infants don’t have a strong immune system adults do.
My baby can not yet speak for herself; and as parents, we have to create boundaries for them to keep them safe. Some parents are very lenient, but others are extremely strict with what and how things are done to their children. To prevent getting bit by the dog (a strict parent), ask first before touching a baby.
Wash hands with soap and warm water
Hand sanitizer doesn’t kill the viruses you may be carrying. It only kills germs. Washing hands with soap and warm water for at least 30 seconds is the best way to get rid of anything harmful you may be carrying.
We can unknowingly pick up germs and viruses anywhere. If a sick person gets their bodily fluid on a surface that you touch, you could pick up and spread the germs to everything you touch. Including a baby.
Therefore, if you end up touching the hands or face of a small child, you could have passed a harmful bacteria to them. To contract a virus or harmful bacteria, it has to come in contact with your mouth, nose, or eyes. Babies rub their eyes when they’re tired, and constantly put their hands in their mouth. So please wash your hands before touching a baby, especially on the hands or face.
Babies can contract illnesses and get sick easily because they have weaker immune systems than adults. These sicknesses can also be more severe in infants because of their low immunity. Put the child’s health first and wash your hands before handling them.
Stay close to mom and dad while holding their baby
Most babies do not enjoy venturing off from their parents (separation anxiety is strong until around 2 years of age). The parents probably don’t want you walking away with their child either, especially at a gathering or family event, passing their baby around to everyone in the room that wants “their turn”. If someone else wants to hold the baby after you, simply reply “you’ll have to ask the parents”. This keeps everyone happy.
If the baby gets upset, pass them back to the parents
9 out of 10 times, you won’t be able to soothe the crying baby if the baby isn’t used to you. They may just want their parents because they’re overwhelmed, or they could be hungry, need a diaper change, or be sleepy, the list goes on. To calm them down the fastest, find their mom or dad and hand them over.
Stand a few feet back when talking to the baby
There’s no need to be in a baby’s face when speaking to them. When we talk, sometimes saliva unknowingly shoots out of our mouth onto the person we are speaking to. I’ve had it happen to me quite a few times, unfortunately. It isn’t pleasant and can pass germs to others through your saliva. Germs of which you may not even know you are carrying because you may be immune to the sickness. But remember, babies do not have your strong immunity quite yet. Please don’t be the one to make them sick.
Give personal space
This relates to my previous point, but besides trying to prevent spreading germs, babies do not tend to enjoy having someone right in their face. It is very confrontational and intimidating to anyone. I would not want someone in my face trying to talk to me, and neither does the baby.
Babies have personal space too and do not enjoy it when someone intrudes. For example, my child cries when someone gets too close to her. Whether I am holding her or she is in her stroller, anyone that gets too close sets her off in a crying fit.
The person doesn’t usually realize that that is why she’s crying. But just keep in mind that babies have personal space too. Please stand back as you would an adult and talk to them. It will be a lot more pleasant experience for everyone including the parents of the baby.
A Simple Way For Parents To Protect Their Baby
Tell people to keep their hands off the baby without having to actually say anything. Simply clip a “No Touching” tag to the car seat, stroller, walker, bouncer, pack n play, or anything your baby is using to warn people to please not touch the baby!
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Please Do Not:
Do not kiss the baby without permission
You may think it’s a simple loving kiss, but you could be transferring harmful bacteria or a virus to the baby that you may not even be showing signs of.
Do not feed a baby without asking what they can have
Whether it’s food or drink, ask the baby’s parents before putting anything in their mouth. The baby could have allergies to certain foods or may not be old enough to know how to chew or swallow anything but liquid or pureed food.
Any time we take our baby to a specific family member’s house, this (un-named) person always asks to feed the baby sweets. It is out of love and wanting to bond with the baby, but the food this person wants to give is always something very unhealthy or something our baby is incapable of swallowing at the stage she is (less than a year old). I am, however, thankful they ask me before feeding her.
If you have the urge to give someone’s baby food, please ask the parent if it is okay to feed them. Thus, preventing choke, allergic reaction, or an angry mama.
Do not go to a gathering, event, or someone’s home if you are sick
This one kind of explains itself. You may really want to go to a specific family gathering, birthday party, a friend’s wedding, even to work if you work with the public. But you put everyone in danger of catching your sickness. Also, if you’re the only one that shows up at the gathering showing signs of being sick, everyone will blame you if they (or their children) catch something! Simply stay home and away from others until you are better.
Conclusion
Though you may be excited when you see a cute little baby around, just keep these points in mind and keep your hands to yourself unless you have permission from the baby’s parent.
During the winter months, you could easily give them a cold, the flu, RSV, and many other harmful infections just by touching their hands. Babies put their hands in their mouths all the time. They even stick their feet in their mouth!
So please wash your hands thoroughly and stay a few feet back from small babies. The parents will greatly appreciate it. I hope you find this information helpful. It may save your relationship with a new mom or dad!
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