Being a mom is rewarding, incredibly fulfilling, and exciting. But it can be very draining at times as well. It is easy to get lost in the day-to-day tasks that you feel are never-ending. Someone is constantly needing you and there is no alone time. You just become “mom”, instead of feeling as though you are still the same person you were before you gave birth. To find yourself again in motherhood, think back to when you were a kid still living with your parents. What brought you joy?
The truth is, you are still that same person, just a better version! You may have to do some work to find her, but she’s in there! At some point during motherhood, we will likely all have an identity crisis.
This is a sign that you need to press pause, take a breather! Even if it’s only for a few minutes each day. Every mom needs this time to find who they are again. Here are the best ways to find yourself again after having a baby and becoming a mom.
1. Change Your Mindset
Take a few minutes to meditate. To be in stillness.
Close your eyes and focus on the area between your eyebrows (third eye).
Throw out all thoughts, good and bad.
Sit in silence and just be.
This will help you to get out of “mom mode”. Clearing your head of all tasks you feel need to get done and entering into “me time”. You may be thinking- “I don’t have time for me-time”!
Everyone has time for me-time. It may not be for as long as you’d like it to be, but you can take 5 minutes to recharge and come back with a totally different attitude. This meditation time can help you look at your life in a whole new perspective and re-evaluate what you need as a human being!
Do you need more time with your spouse? Do you need a creative outlet? Do you need to escape into a book or tv show? Sit in stillness and find out what you really need. Rediscover yourself through this journey in motherhood. Through this meditation, it will help create more happiness in your life, in turn creating more happiness for your family!
2. Find Something YOU Enjoy Doing
Think back to some things you used to enjoy doing before having children. Are those things you can still do now? If so, get to it! Start drawing again or go paddle boarding or do some cross-stitch!
You could even try a new hobby. Is there something you’ve been itching to try? Even something as simple as trying a new recipe you found on Pinterest!
Make a list of things you used to enjoy doing before having a baby, and some new activities you’d like to try! Go down the list and start checking things off. In the process, you will find things you’ve outgrown, and other things you really enjoy!
3. Have Something To Focus On
Keeping your mind busy with things that interest and excite you is crucial for your mental health. For me, it is my blog. For others it may be reading a book, going on a daily jog, crafts, playing a new instrument, painting, writing, learning a new skill. The options are endless!
As a stay at home mom, I have found that it was very depressing not having anything to focus on other than what needed to get done around the house. Constantly feeling like “This is it. This is what I wake up to do every morning. Cleaning, making sure everyone is fed and happy.…what about me?”.
There’s so much more to motherhood and to life than that! You just have to do a little bit of work finding what it is that interests you and something to look forward to.
For me, blogging is a great outlet. It keeps me interested and wanting to learn more every day. You can connect with others in your writing niche and teach people about whatever it is that interests you.
It’s also a great way to make money as a stay at home mom. If you think you may be interested in starting your own blog, I’ve written a few blog posts to get you started.
4. Set Goals For Yourself
You won’t get to where you want to be in life without goals. Setting goals keeps you motivated on what you want out of life! Goals big or small, write them down.
Once you’re finished writing any goal you can think of, look back at them and take note of what these goals revolve around.
These goals are part of who you are. They show you what you see as priorities in life and help you find who you are now as a person and a mother.
Start at the top of the list of what you think are your highest priority goals and work your way through your list.
I personally set new goals all the time. When writing my to-do list for the day, I think of them as goals and feel so relieved when I’ve accomplished them. I suggest running a few goal lists. Daily goals, weekly goals, and long term goals, maybe even a family goals list.
5. Get Off Social Media
Social media can be toxic. Seeing all these seemingly perfect moms having the best time with their family and friends in every picture they post. Always a smile on their face, looking their best, house in perfect condition.
Stop comparing your life to them. All you see is what’s in those photos, and I can promise you, their life is not perfect. Their house is not clean all the time and they are not flawless all the time.
I started an Instagram account a few months ago and started following a lot of these “seemingly perfect moms“. I found myself looking down on the life I have because all these other women seem so much more successful than me or have nicer things than I do.
Once I realized what social media was doing to my emotions, I stopped looking at it all together. There’s no reason to feel like your life is less than or to feel like you need to keep up with what someone else is doing. That is not helping you find yourself again.
Rediscover Yourself
When trying to find yourself again after having a baby, it can feel difficult at first. But it is very easy when you follow these steps. To find yourself again after becoming a mom, you have to change your mindset, find something you enjoy doing, have something to focus on, set goals for yourself, and get off social media. It’s as simple as that.
If you’re going through an identity crisis as a mom, share in the comments some of the ways you are learning to find yourself again!
